Call me your Prince and Hold me Close

thegreenwolf:

"Not all men are like that."

That’s fine. What are you doing about the ones that are?

skelebrina:

punkbeds:

BOYS TO AVOID:
-boys that are against feminism
-boys that call girls sluts and whores
-boys that think a vagina gets loose after having a lot of sex
-white boys that use the n word
-bronies

-boys that fall asleep after sex without making sure their partner is satisfied
-boys that insult others to compliment you
-boys that insult anyone
-boys that are rude to their parents

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORYSo a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

legs-are-just-for-show:

replaying the same level in a video game for the hundredth time

image

phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess:

floozys:

all-because-we-fell-in-love:

floozys:

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

Uhh. The baby doesnt come out of where the penis goes in…

image

image

andrewhussiesbosom:

please don’t wish for a zombie apocalypse I’m fat and my cardio sucks

behold-theturtle:

stella-rogers:

In the lobby of the CTcon hotel on Saturday, there was a family with two cute little twin girls walking around and talking to all of the cosplayers. I was talking to my friends (hiwamu and haihane) when they were approached by the parents and these timid kids.
The parents asked: “What are you two from?”
Virus: “Uh… We’re from a video game.”
Parents: “Is it G-Rated?”
ViTri: “No.”
Understatement of the century.


This kid knows what’s up.

behold-theturtle:

stella-rogers:

In the lobby of the CTcon hotel on Saturday, there was a family with two cute little twin girls walking around and talking to all of the cosplayers. I was talking to my friends (hiwamu and haihane) when they were approached by the parents and these timid kids.

The parents asked: “What are you two from?”

Virus: “Uh… We’re from a video game.”

Parents: “Is it G-Rated?”

ViTri: “No.”

Understatement of the century.

image

This kid knows what’s up.

r4661tcrossing:

marshal i told u not to call me that in public

vadereloha:

okay